Ok, here’s another trait of my OCD that sucks…
A little (massive) thing called Relationship OCD.
It affects most of my relationships.
Think my family love me? THINK AGAIN. They think I’m a burden, horrible and they can’t stand me.
Think I’m happily married? Uh no! I don’t love The Captain. I made a massive mistake. Better ask for a divorce.
Even Mr Blunden hates me and wishes he’d gone home with someone else.
Totoro hates everyone so no biggie 😂
Fuck you OCD. None of those things are true.
My family do love me and they’re glad I’m here.
I do most certainly love The Captain and my life would be absolute shit without his unending love, support and friendship.
Mr Blunden can’t talk (apparently), but I think the fact that he’s glued to my side is testament to the fact that he thinks I’m ok.
These thoughts don’t make me needy, I don’t constantly ask for reassurance. They either slowly and silently crush me or I have to try and fight them.
I’m trying to speak out when something triggers it and not let it build up but it is so hard. I never want The Captain to think I don’t love him. That’s heart breaking and I want to hide it so much, but that just feeds the cycle of OCD.
I love you Captain x
Please visit my page of help, support, information and people to talk to here x