More intrusive thoughts…

This is a copy of a Facebook status that I wrote. It seemed to help some people and I got a few private messages. Talking helps, you’re not alone.

“OCD is like a bully, it gives you intrusive thoughts and images that can be truly distressing. Then you freak out and panic about how on earth *your* brain can conjure up such horrible stuff and you panic more and start to question if it’s some kind of unconscious desire or character trait (spoiler: it’s not).

That panic and self loathing then feeds the OCD and the cycle continues.

Silence is OCD’s favourite dish, with a side of shame.

I’ve found that by talking about my intrusive thoughts it takes the power away from OCD and gives it back to me. I won’t be silenced by this little prick any more.

I know the thoughts aren’t real, they aren’t my wishes and that it has been proven that these kinds of intrusive thoughts and images are the exact opposite of the OCD sufferer’s true nature – that’s exactly why it’s so horrendous for the sufferer and why the OCD cycle continues.

So, with that, I had an OCD nightmare last night. I had a baby, anyone who knows me knows how much I always wanted a baby. This baby was a girl and she was beautiful. I kept pinching her. I kept doing things to hurt her and make her cry. Fucking horrible, right? Literally the opposite of anything I would ever do to a baby.

But – I’m *not* distressed. I’m *not* questioning my brain, my sanity, my safety around babies. I won’t give OCD that power. It’s not real. I love babies.

If you ever have thoughts like this, about anything, please know that you’re not alone and you’re certainly not bad, evil or insane. My inbox is always open and it’s confidential, anyone can talk to me at any time, you’re not alone 💖”

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8 thoughts on “More intrusive thoughts…

  1. Thank you so much for writing this 💞. I’ve had similar thoughts about my cats. I thought I was a sick person because of that. Big source of shame. Of course, I wouldn’t ever do anything to them; they’re my “kids”! ❤️❤️. I love them so much it hurts. I would do anything for them. I wouldn’t ever act on any harmful thoughts. I’m relieved to know I’m not alone. I’ve never told anyone about this before right now. Thank you for opening the dialogue 💚💙

    Liked by 1 person

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